Galaxy Defenders Variable Cyberbot - (Bandai Valkyrie knockoff)

I didn't have cable television when I was a kid. I grew up way the hell out in the country so we were basically limited to three over the air channels, NBC, PBS and, when the weather was good, CBS. For this reason I was not able to come home from school and park my lazy ass in front of the television to have my brain wiped daily by 30 minute animated toy commercials like all the other lucky kids. Every now and then I got to go home with a friend (who had cable) and could catch Transformers or GI Joe or MASK, but more often than not when most boys my age were watching the adventures of Robot Jesus and his transforming friends, I was watching the adventures of The Electric Company and 3-2-1 Contact.

This led to an awkward social life for me. Other kids would be saying things like "Wow! Did you see Megatron and Optimus Prime get in that fight?" or "Did you see Duke sneak in to that Cobra base?" and I would say things like "Did you see the Bloodhound Gang use their knowledge of science solve that mystery?" I got picked last for 4-square a lot.

How this impacted me in the world of Transformers was that I wasn't pestering my parents every day for this Autobot and that Decepticon. I saw them on the shelves, I thought they were neat, but I was way more interested in Star Wars and GI Joe figures than in transforming robots. I can count the number of Transformers I had as a kid on one hand, even if I was just a four fingered mutant (Perceptor, Bonecrusher, Seaspray, Blitzwing).

So I missed out on what is possibly the coolest and most sought after G1 Transformer of all time...Jetfire. I never saw a Jetfire in the store. The closest I have ever come to seeing a G1 Jetfire in person was in a store owned by a friend of my brother's a few years ago. It was sitting on the top of a shelf, complete, in the box, with a sticker price of $499. Unfortunately, the douche wouldn't take it down for me to look at it. "I only take it down for people to look at if they're serious about buying it." So I craned my neck for a few minutes trying to get a glimpse of that beautiful red and white plastic through the box window, and went on my way.

For me G1 Jetfire and the Bandai Valkyrie represent the Holy Grail of toydom. Mainly because it is something I can only dream of owning, and I don't have the time, inclination, money or even a cool bullwhip and leather jacket to go looking for one. I'm pretty sure my dad didn't spend half his life compiling a diary of research to locate one, either.

Anyway, when I found this thing on the intarwebs and verified that it was 1) a certified, bona fide, Bandai Valkyrie knock-off and 2) less than $100 (MUCH less), I jumped on it. "Knock-off or not, this is worth a shot" I told myself. I was pleasantly surprised.

The plastic is surprisingly sturdy, it doesn't feel like the cheap plastic you get with usual KOs. There's even die-cast metal on it, if that's your sort of thing. Even the landing gear spring out (and bruise your fingers). If you come across one of these, I'd say its worth picking up.

No, it's not red and white, and it's not Jetfire, but I actually like the way the toy looks. It even comes with a sticker sheet for you to dress him out in custom markings.