Transformers Universe Stormcloud

Let me set up today's (tonight's?) update with a little story. When I was but a wee lad, I liked airplanes. In fact, I LOVED airplanes. I spent my formative years reading and learning about them. While other boys could rattle off Wade Boggs' batting average, or Doc Gooden's ERA, or the number of double plays Cal Ripken turned, I specialized in aircraft statistics. Want to know the F-4's max speed? I could tell you. What was the combat radius of an F-15? I wouldn't even have to look it up. The MiG-25's wingspan? Easy stuff. Unfortunately, knowing this kind of information wouldn't necessarily impress one's peers as much as you'd think. Sure, if you knew what Dale Murphy was batting on Tuesday nights with a full moon in the month of July, you're looked upon as some sort of god. But if you knew information that could, should crack Cuban and Soviet commandos decide to para-drop into flyover country as some sort of prelude to an invasion, prove vitally useful, well...usually that meant you got picked last for kickball at recess when they chose up sides.

Of special interest to me was the Fairchild Republic A-10 Thunderbolt II. (Note: only dorks refer to aircraft by their nicknames: "Warthog," "Eagle," "Tomcat," "Fighting Falcon." If you want to look cool to military airplane junkies, you must use the aircraft's alpha-numeric designation.) I grew up just a stone's throw away from England Air Force Base, home of the Flying Tigers.

My childhood home pretty much sat directly in the flight path between the base and the practice gunnery range about 20 miles away. My brother and I used to climb onto the roof of our house and watch groups of A-10s orbiting the range, working over their canvas targets with the 30mm GAU-8 Avenger. Every year we'd be at England's annual airshow to watch the Thunderbirds and crawl all over the A-10s out for public display. My grandparents only lived about 5 miles from the range, so during the summer weeks we spent at their house you could constantly hear the "guh-RUUUUHHHMMMP!" from their guns (And I have never, EVER, not even ONCE, snuck onto the gunnery range to collect expended 30mm ammo casings. NEVER!**) My Pa Pa, being a retired Air Force man, always went grocery shopping at the EAFB commissary. I got my first Robotech toy (an Alpha) at the BX. I always demanded that he drive near the flight line so I could see the A-10s parked on the ramp. On some days we'd go park off base at the end of one of the runways and watch them land and take off. I worshiped at the altar of the 23d TFW.

I told you that story to tell you this...A-10 Transformer toys have never really done anything for me. G1 Powerglide was a great big "meh" to me. Universe Powerglide even more so. Those two Energon A-10s? I don't think they've been anything but the arm and leg on my Energon Superion (or Superius Maximus or whatever) since I tool 'em out of the package. Might as well go ahead and cover all the bases and say that the G1 Micromaster Tailwind is just about my favorite TF representation of the airplane, and I don't even like it that much because he's only, like, 2 inches tall. I just don't feel the toys represent the aircraft all that well. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that the real airplane is just a long skinny tube, with two short, fat tubes, two straight wings, and a big H-shaped tail. You can't really get a realistic robot to unfold from that, I guess...

Which is why I understand why Universe Stormcloud can't really be an A-10, only A-10-ish. But that's cool. Call me crazy, but the deco makes this figure and I really like it when my Decepticons are purple and black. Just like all true Autobots should be some combination of red, white, and blue (take that, Hot Rod!), all Decepticons should feature this color combination (at least if they aren't dark blue because you can't leave out Soundwave.) Since Universe Stormcloud features an abundance of black with some purple, I think this figure works better than the Powerglide deco.

The toy is solid enough. It's a little top-heavy, but that's about the only problem. I even like the little "MM-89" tampograph because (I think) it references the fact that the original Stormcloud was a micromaster and came out in '89. I think the tampos on the other two Universe ultras - BOLT-25 (Silverbolt) and MONZO-whatever (Onslaught)- are just superfluous. My ONE real gripe is probably pretty stupid. See if you follow my logic here:

1) Universe Stormcloud is an A-10
2) G1 Tailwind was ALSO an A-10
3) G1 Tailwind was blue
4) The Cobra Rattler was ALSO blue (pictures coming soon!)

Theoretically, had Hasbro done this figure as an homage to G1 Tailwind, we'd have had a giant, blue, transforming Decepticon A-10. Oh, what could you do with a giant, blue, transforming Decepticon A-10? Well, some company (say Hasbro or reprolabels or something) could have come out with a set of Cobra Rattler decals designed for said giant, blue, transforming A-10, allowing you to turn it into a Transforming Cobra Rattler that was also an homage to a G1 Transformer, thereby causing quite possibly the biggest 80's-related, nostalgia-propagated toygasm in the history of mankind EVER! (I don't even think a little mini-Skeletor pilot would have been required.)

See? See how Hasbro dropped the ball by not replying to the resume' I forwarded to them with the subject "Dear Hasbro: Please consider me as a replacement for the retarded offspring of five monkeys that had butt sex with a fish-squirrel you currently employ as your toy design team."

**And by "never, EVER, not even ONCE" I mean "have done it several times."

Transformers Universe Hasbro Toy Shop Exclusive Drag Strip

Not going to give a review of the Classics Mirage mold. I've already had my say on that. There are damn few Decepticons in the Classics/Universe G1 Series lines, even fewer appealing molds (I'm lookin' at you, Galvatron.)

Drag Strip is a combination of Decepticon and what I still think is the best Deluxe-size Transformer mold released in the past decade, so Drag Strip is a winner. The only problem is that it is a Hasbrotoyshop.com exclusive, and it is 16 bucks for a ten dollar figure.

If you aren't worried about paying more than you normally would for a deluxe figure, you can't miss with Drag Strip. (If you don't want to pay that much, you could always use the coupon code HOLIDAY25 and knock 25% off the price. I'm just sayin'.)

The paint job isn't as nice as I would like and you can probably see some of the yellow plastic peeking through the purple paint on the head. And when transforming him the first time, I'm almost positive I noticed some of that dreaded "tacky paint." But on the whole, I'm not disappointed with Drag Strip.

Don't really know what else to say. Again, the positives is that Drag Strip can bolster your probably anemic Decepticon ranks, and you get a great figure. The negative is pretty much the cost and possible availability issues.

Them damn Stunticons have to stick together.

Transformers Universe - Acid Storm, Galvatron

I've been sitting on these for a while. I love the Classics Seekers mold. I'm a big Starscream fan, but not so much the rest of the so-called "Seekers." I think its really funny that there is much rending of garments and gnashing of teeth amongst the fandom because the only way you can complete the original seekers by buying really ultra-expensive Botcon Exclusives or really ultra-expensive Japanese something-or-others. Me, I'd prefer Hasbro release these homages to bots that only appeared in a single frame in the original cartoon, if just to piss off the whiners.

But for those of you that just insist on whining, consider Acid Storm to be REALLY just an homage to Machine Wars Thundercracker. There ya go, camper, feel better?

You'll notice I haven't said anything about Galvatron. That's because I just don't care one way or the other for him. I bought it for two reasons. One, it was on sale for $7.77 at Wal-Mart and I'm a sucker for a good deal. Two, I wanted him to go with the Universe Cyclonus coming out. But now that pictures of the final product have been shown, I'm kind of disappointed in it, too. So, yeah. Galvatron. He was pretty cool in the movie, I guess.

Transformers Animated Soundwave

There's a lot of bitching and complaining that Soundwave isn't big enough. I think he's fine.

I didn't get a good picture of Laserbeak's robot mode. But he's got a Dimebag Darrell-ish alt-mode, which is cool.

I like his bot-mode and I think his Animated "stylized" design translates well to plastic form. I really like the G1 homage this figure is packed with. Like the "tape player buttons" on the vehicle's grill, and the G1-inspired chest.

I'm halfway to starting my new Transformers band. Just need a drummer and a bass player.

Transformers Animated

Yeah, this is a crummy picture. My camera allowed me one shot and then the batteries died. Point is...Transformers Animated is In Da Hizzouse!!

They're popping up all over the country. Head out to your local Megalo Mart and check them out!

Wal-Mart Exclusive Masterpiece Starscream: A Photo Essay

Oh, I love him so much. Y'all just don't know.
Here's a nice "pad" shot of him:

Here's a shot with him holding the Megatron gun that comes with Masterpiece Optimus:

And one with his Classics and G1 little brothers:

Decepticons...ATTACK!!!

"See you back at the base" pose I ripped off from Robot Heroes Starscream:

Die, Autobot SCUM!

Transformers Movie: Incinerator

Okay. I admit it. I have hated the Movie figures. I just don't dig the Bayness of them (thank's teresa!) In fact, of the few Movie toys I do own, none of them actually appeared in the film in the form in which I own them (see First Strike Optimus Prime). But the newest wave of Voyager-size "Allspark Power" figures...I'm really starting to dig these. I also have to admit that if you take a Transformer and give him a sweet alt-mode (like, say, a V-22 Osprey), I can be sucked in.

So, when I walked in to Wal-Mart and saw Incinerator sitting on the shelf I had to put him in the basket. Reading Lamezoid's blog, plus a few others, I noticed a few who were expressing reservations about some of his shortcomings. Namely, the fact that he don't got no hands.

Normally, I'm really put off by Transformers that are missing body parts. Hands, feet, personalities, what have you. But for some reason, maybe it's the sweet alt-mode, maybe its the fact that he has a smirk on his face, I really don't mind it so much on Incinerator. I'm really glad I got him, and that's not something I can say for some of the other Movie toys I own.

A word of caution, though. Be careful when transforming him. There are two pieces you have to transform in the knee area, and one is attached to the other by a very small peg. If you don't do these parts in the correct order, you are going to break that peg. I did on one leg. It isn't something that really affects the figure, or is even noticeable, but it is something to be aware of.

Transformers Generation One Insecticons

Insecticons really are (for me, at least) the epitome of what it is to be a Decepticon. Slightly off balance, mentally unstable, purple, wicked and nasty enough to be dangerous but too consumed by their own fear/anger/hate/greed/paranoia to ever triumph over good (Nevermind what Dark Helmet said, evil doesn't always triumph over good because sometimes evil is just as dumb.)

I'm really proud of this little set of plastic minions, they only set me back about $35 bucks total. I've just now gotten to a point where I can really concentrate on these and begin their "rehabilitation" process. First up will be removal all their chromed pieces for shipping to a friend of mine for reconditioning (it's good to be friends with car modeling enthusiasts). After that will be a good sanding and buffing of all the black and yellow plastic. Finally will be some brand new stickers courtesy of Reprolabels.

While we're at it, here's a look at the box that came with my Kickback. I bought this Kickback on ebay for about 10 bucks and, to be honest, the fact that the box was included wasn't a real big selling point for me. This box didn't even come with an insert or anything. If you look closely, you can see that the window is falling out. I never really understood why people keep boxes. It's one thing if you're a total tool and keep all your stuff MISP or MIB or whatever-the-hell. But when the box is all beat up and dented...I don't get it. Yet, strangely, I've had Kickback for about 5 months and I have yet to get rid of this crappy box.

You can't see it, but there's even yellowed tape on the back of the box, which is an especially nice touch. I'm thinking of sending this one to Evil King Macrocranios over at Please Save Me Robots. Looks like he has some sort of fetish compulsion for this sort of thing.

Transformers: Robot Heroes Decepticon Sneak Attack

Continuing on with Hasbro's Robot Heroes G1 themed Transformer figures, this is a Wal-Mart Exclusive 5-pack that retails(ed?) for $9.99, and consists solely of repaints. Cliffjumper is the (inevitable) repaint of the Robot Heroes Bumblebee figure. Optimus Prime is a repaint of his 2-pack incarnation with a slightly brighter paint scheme (I prefer the 2-pack version.) Megatron gets a metallic paint scheme this time around, and looks much better than the 2-pack version. Skywarp is a repaint of the Starscream/Thundercracker figure. You either like Seeker repaints or you don't. I do, I know others don't.

Mirage is a clear version of the 2-pack version and, truth be told, I'd have paid 10 bucks for this figure alone. He's just plain awesome.

Transformers Robot Heroes

I really dig these figures.

Decepticons

Autobots

And the Chaos Bringer