GI Joe 25th Anniversary Original 13: Grunt

Continuing on with the "Heavyarms saw his picture on the box and was fascinated with the character" meme, we pick up with Grunt. Check out that card art. Grunt's the guy that grabs his M-16 and charges into the firefight. The other Joes got laser guns and bazookas and mortars and missile launchers or got to be commandos. Not Grunt, he just got a rifle.

How does an eight year old boy reconcile this, though? All the other Joes have some sort of specialty, what about Grunt? I had a friend that actually had the audacity to suggest that "Grunt" was just a grunt. A generic soldier. Cannon fodder. As in, there was more than one "Grunt." A retarded idea if you ask me. GI Joe is the code name for America's highly trained special mission force. There's no room for average grunts there. Besides, Grunt had a real name, Robert Graves. When I was a kid I decided that Grunt was GI Joe's über-soldier. He did soldier stuff, and he soldiered like no other soldier had ever soldiered. He did it all, walked point, reported for KP duty, could hold his own in a firefight. Grunt was the member of the team that did the dirty work, from taking watch at 3am to performing flanking maneuvers in the field to walking right up to a Cobra HISS and dropping a grenade in the cockpit.

Grunt, like Grand Slam, did not get a single-card release but instead was another store-exclusive, released in one of the three "Senior Ranking Officers" three-packs available only at Toys R Us. Grunt came with his helmet, knife, handgun, UZI, and a giant M-16 with an underslung grenade launcher, which I didn't like so I replaced it with a cooler M-16 I got from the great folks at Marauder, Inc.

GI Joe 25th Anniversary Original 13: Grand Slam

Here's another Original 13 member that was originally released as a vehicle driver. Well, actually he was released with the Heavy Artillery Laser (HAL), so I guess he wasn't really a "driver." Except for a different head, the Grand Slam figure released in 1982 was indistinguishable from Flash, he even had the same red oven-mitt pads. In 1983 Grand Slam's pads were repainted silver and he was included with the GI Joe JUMP Jet Pack.

For the 25th Anniversary Line, Grand Slam was included as the driver for the Target-Exclusive Night Spector, which was a olive-green repaint of the classic Joe flying submarine, the S.H.A.R.C. Since it was Target-exclusive, you either found this thing on clearance on an endcap or you didn't find it at all, I don't think there was an in-between. The three Target-exclusive vehicles (blue Cobra HISS, the Night Specter, and the A.W.E. Striker) all cheaped out, the file cards were printed on the side of the box and they did not get stands so Grand Slam is the only 25A O13 character that didn't get a stand with his name on it.

25A Grand Slam is just a straight repaint of 25A Flash. Just like the original Grand Slam, his only accessories were a helmet and visor...no weapons or any kind...so I bought an extra Flash and gave Grand Slam his XLM-1A Laser Rifle. I also had an extra Joe JUMP pack laying around, so he got one of those since the 83 version came with one, too. Like Clutch, Grand Slam wasn't really high on my interest list as a kid and I guess I gotta blame that on the fact that he was a vehicle driver as well. Also, I probably just assumed Flash was included with the HAL since he looked the same as Grand Slam and was already they team laser expert and was more awsum.

GI Joe 25th Anniversary Original 13: Flash

So, with today's figure I realize that I maybe shouldn't have gone with the idea of posting them in alphabetical order. Flash actually is the one figure that I would say embodies all this stuff, this "remote admiration/interest" I had for the Original 13 characters. I mean, I was a Flash fan. Here was this guy, he had green fatigues just like the other guys, but was a little different. He had this visor on his helmet, and these weird (read: cool) oven mitt pads over his uniform. The other Joes were carrying carbines while this guy was packin' HEAT. His card art suggested to me that Flash was the guy the other Joes called when it was time to bring the pain. And his codename..."Flash"...is there a better name for a guy who is the team laser rifle expert?

I think that what I always found interesting about Flash was that, at least according to the card art, Flash looked to be easily the most sci-fi-ish of the Joes. The other guys had machine guns and pistols and bazookas and crossbows, but not Flash. He had the thing that could burn through the armor plating on a Cobra HISS, and then cook the snakes inside. This was before I saw any of the GI Joe cartoons where as soon as the fit hit the shan everybody just reached for their standard-issue laser rifles and Flash just chilled in the ready room playing video games and reading Popular Mechanics.

The stupid thing is, through all this interest and love I had for the Flash figure, I never actually asked my parents to buy one for me. Oh well, the 25A version is good enough for me. Flash was only released as a single-carded figure, and was actually the one that got me wondering if it would be possible that Hasbro would released all of the Original 13 in 25A form. In fact, the 25A Flash figure was only the fifth version of Flash released since 1982.

GI Joe 25th Anniversary Original 13: Clutch

Our second O13 figure was not a single-carded figure but a vehicle driver. Clutch's ride of choice was the Multi-Purpose Attack Vehicle (VAMP), and thankfully he was included with the 25th Anniversary release of the VAMP. Or more appropriately, thankfully Hasbro released the VAMP in the 25A line. Strangely, the 25A box art boasts that the VAMP includes the figure "Double Clutch." I'm glad Hasbro thought to put his correct codename in his stand.

Unlike the regular figures, I didn't really care much about the early Joe vehicle drivers, I guess because their character art was usually never included on the back of regular figure cards. Also, because young Heavyarms knew that Cobra vehicles were where it was at. However, the VAMP has actually grown on me, probably because its olive green paint job fits so well with the the figures. And I just realized that was a little gay.

Anyway, Clutch is on of the few Original 13 I don't really have any attachment to but I'm glad he's part of the collection. Just check out that non-reg facial hair.

GI Joe 25th Anniversary Original 13: Breaker

For me, there were three milestone, or "gold standard" toy lines during the 80's; Star Wars, Transformers, and GI Joe. Sure, there were other good lines, MASK, Centurions, He-Man, etc. but for me, these three were the pinnacle of toy-having. Chances are, if you were a boy in the 1980's you had multiple toys from at least one of these lines in your toybox. More than likely, you had at least one from all three.

I have said before that life in the Heavyarms household was rarely stimulated by television, so I didn't have the exposure that most other boys my age had to Transformers and GI Joe, namely, those 30 minute toy commercials claiming to be afternoon cartoons. To date, I have seen maybe 5 Transformers episodes, probably even fewer GI Joe episodes. No, my love for these two toy lines was fertilized by that big steaming pile of manure otherwise known as my imagination. What characteristics and personalities my GI Joe toys had was based solely on the info I got from their file cards, and sometimes from just a picture from the back of another toy's card.

1982 was the year that GI Joe hit toy shelves, and it did so rather ambiguously at first, with 13 characters that are now known in Joe circles as the Original 13. Later years became more colorful, with more memorable characters but for 6 year old Heavyarms, the guys in the plain old green fatigues (the uniform most of the Original 13 wore) were the ones that captured my imagination. When the 25th Anniversary line debuted, I didn't think it would be possible to own all 13, but a few single-carded figures, 5-packs, vehicles, online- and store-exclusives later, I am proud to present the Original 13 GI Joes, 25th Anniversary style!

First up is Breaker, the Joe Communications specialist. Breaker's card art suggests a guy that always in the thick of things, yelling into his radio requests for air strikes and artillery support.

Breaker was actually released twice in the 25A line, both released in 2008. First in a comic 2-pack alongside Destro and a reprint of Issue 14 from the Marvel's GI Joe comic series. This version came with webgear with painted details, a pistol, backpack, helmet and radio headset, a stand that said "CODENAME: Cpl. Breaker," and a bubble. Apparently in the comics Breaker had a reputation for being a gum-chewer.

The second time Breaker was included in the RAM Cycle vs Flight Pod vehicle set, along with a Tele Viper pilot for the trouble bubble. This time Breaker only included plain black webgear, a pistol, a helmet, and a stand that just said plainly "CODENAME: Breaker."

Millennium Falcon Collection, Day 14: Extraordinaire

So, here it is, the gem of my MF collection, the piece de resistance . This Falcon was actually a display piece at Toys R Us stores across the country. It is not in-scale with the actual prop used in the movie. Instead, it is a large scale mock-up of the POTF2 version right on down to the decals. There were only about 700 of these ships made.

Around 1998 or so (I'm not really sure), the Rosie O'Donnell show held a raffle that you could enter to win one of 500 of these beasts. About three or four months after we entered, I got a note that I had won the ship. There was a letter that I had to sign that said I would never use it for profitable purposes or sell it . I had to have this letter notarized and return it. A month or so after that, there was a giant-ass box waiting for me at the front door.

This thing is huge. Standing on its tail it is six feet tall. I included my Legacy Collection Falcon as a size reference. For the first three years or so of my marriage it was suspended from the ceiling of my play room. The only thing you could do was sit under it, though. I said it was HUGE. Sadly, they were given away on an "as-is" basis, and as you could imagine, the couple of years most spent on display were rough on these ships. Mine show evidence of being under a skylight, it is very yellowed near the right rear of the ship, which would be the part directly perpendicular to an overhead skylight. Several of the decals have fallen off as well, and one of the electric lights from the top has fallen in the ship. It's still a beautiful piece though.

Millennium Falcon Collection, Day 13: The Legacy Collection

OMFG. What else can you say about this thing? I got it from my wonderful, beautiful, sweet, gorgeous, patient, loving, caring, kind wife for our wedding anniversary last year. It is, without a doubt, the greatest single Star Wars toy/play set ever created. Where to start? The thing's loaded with electronics and sounds. There are five or six buttons througout the outer hull, each one that plays multiple sound effects. The engine lights up and glows blue. Any time you move something on the ship, it makes a sound.

The landing ramp opens automatically with the press of a button. It makes a sound, and two bright LEDs on the underside of the hull illuminated the ground on either side of the ramp.

You can pull the "hidden" cannon out, and it will fire a spring-loaded missile. You can't see it in the above photo, but for the first time an action figure-scale Falcon comes with a lower quad-cannon.

On the left side of the ship is a hatch that opens up to reveal the Falcon's escape pod. Opening and closing the hatch, as well as removing and returning the escape pod to its port also play sound effects. On the side of the hull directly above the pod in the photo is a knob that, when twisted, will rotate the satellite dish.

The cockpit is large enough to fit four figures. The front seats slide forward and back to accommodate different sized figures. There are lights on the rear bulkhead behind the rear seats. The interior of the cockpit is incredibly accurate...

...as is the rest of the interior. The chess table lights up and comes with tiny little figures. The couch around the table is curved just like the real thing.

The console and chair Han is sitting at are very close to what is seen on screen, as is the tiny little seat Obi-Wan is sitting on. There is even a training remote included. The same knob that rotates the satellite dish moves the little arm the training remote hangs from. Directly beneath Luke's and Obi-Wan's is the hatch that Han and Lando Calrissian climb through to perform repairs on the ship during The Empire Strikes Back.

Although the ship has two quad-cannons, it only comes with one gunnery chair. Not terribly disappointing, though, considering how great this thing is. You can see the lower quad-cannon through the window behind Han.

This is the med bay, which is immediately aft of the boarding ramp. There is a small hole which supposedly is going to fit an accessory that comes with a figure or pack of figures later in the line. To the right of the med bay are a set of double doors that allow access to the rear of the ship, but there is no access to what is beyond.

What else can I say. This is an impressive ship, the highlight of my collection. I know its pricey, but I just can't recommend this enough to any Star Wars fan.