Transformers Animated Ultra Magnus

Here's how it is with this illness I and my fellow collectors have. I had Animated Ultra Magnus on my Christmas list for 2008. However, sightings of the toy in my area were few and far between. I mean, I saw him in the 10 or so local stores I regularly check out once. A few weeks later I saw another one and went through this thought process...
1) He's already on my Christmas list.
2) People buying stuff for me may not find Ultra Magnus.
3) I'm SURE someone will be sending me money.
THEREFORE: I'll go ahead and buy it for myself because:
A) If no one else gets it for me, I'm covered and
B) if I somehow DO get it, I can return this one for a refund or try and hook a fellow TFINO that may be looking for one up.

Magnanimous is what I am.

Anyway, Christmas came and went and I didn't get Ultra Magnus, and I didn't get any money, so that whole plan was shot to hell but I kept him anyway. Addicted to Plastic is also what I am. There are a lot of people that complain about Ultra Magnus, and I'll tell you what kind of people those are. Picky people. People who gotta complain about stuff for the sake of complainin' about stuff. THOSE kind of people. Why do I say that? Because if Hasbro had just done what they usually do and repainted Animated Optimus Prime in white and blue, they'd have been complaining about that.

Now, I'm not going to tell you that this is the greatest Ultra Magnus toy ever released. (I still have a special place in my heart reserved for RID Magnus (Car Robots God Magnus, that is.) But he's still a damn fine figure. I really, REALLY, like the Animated aesthic and Ultra Magnus captures his cartoon likeness nicely, thanks.

His alt-mode is some kind of heavily armed military missile carrier thingy. He's loaded with sound and light-up effects. If you manage to find one, and you don't mind shelling out the 40 or so bucks, go ahead.

I should offer up this disclaimer, though. I had a Target coupon for $10 off Leader class figures, plus a $5-off Happy Meal Coupon, so I got my Ultra Magnus for about 25 bucks. Had I paid another 15 bucks for him, I might feel differently. I can't say for certain, but I don't think so. Wishy-washy. I'm also that, too. One thing is certain, though. Unlike that Optimus Prime repaint from G1...

...he can deal with that now.

Transformers Universe Stormcloud

Let me set up today's (tonight's?) update with a little story. When I was but a wee lad, I liked airplanes. In fact, I LOVED airplanes. I spent my formative years reading and learning about them. While other boys could rattle off Wade Boggs' batting average, or Doc Gooden's ERA, or the number of double plays Cal Ripken turned, I specialized in aircraft statistics. Want to know the F-4's max speed? I could tell you. What was the combat radius of an F-15? I wouldn't even have to look it up. The MiG-25's wingspan? Easy stuff. Unfortunately, knowing this kind of information wouldn't necessarily impress one's peers as much as you'd think. Sure, if you knew what Dale Murphy was batting on Tuesday nights with a full moon in the month of July, you're looked upon as some sort of god. But if you knew information that could, should crack Cuban and Soviet commandos decide to para-drop into flyover country as some sort of prelude to an invasion, prove vitally useful, well...usually that meant you got picked last for kickball at recess when they chose up sides.

Of special interest to me was the Fairchild Republic A-10 Thunderbolt II. (Note: only dorks refer to aircraft by their nicknames: "Warthog," "Eagle," "Tomcat," "Fighting Falcon." If you want to look cool to military airplane junkies, you must use the aircraft's alpha-numeric designation.) I grew up just a stone's throw away from England Air Force Base, home of the Flying Tigers.

My childhood home pretty much sat directly in the flight path between the base and the practice gunnery range about 20 miles away. My brother and I used to climb onto the roof of our house and watch groups of A-10s orbiting the range, working over their canvas targets with the 30mm GAU-8 Avenger. Every year we'd be at England's annual airshow to watch the Thunderbirds and crawl all over the A-10s out for public display. My grandparents only lived about 5 miles from the range, so during the summer weeks we spent at their house you could constantly hear the "guh-RUUUUHHHMMMP!" from their guns (And I have never, EVER, not even ONCE, snuck onto the gunnery range to collect expended 30mm ammo casings. NEVER!**) My Pa Pa, being a retired Air Force man, always went grocery shopping at the EAFB commissary. I got my first Robotech toy (an Alpha) at the BX. I always demanded that he drive near the flight line so I could see the A-10s parked on the ramp. On some days we'd go park off base at the end of one of the runways and watch them land and take off. I worshiped at the altar of the 23d TFW.

I told you that story to tell you this...A-10 Transformer toys have never really done anything for me. G1 Powerglide was a great big "meh" to me. Universe Powerglide even more so. Those two Energon A-10s? I don't think they've been anything but the arm and leg on my Energon Superion (or Superius Maximus or whatever) since I tool 'em out of the package. Might as well go ahead and cover all the bases and say that the G1 Micromaster Tailwind is just about my favorite TF representation of the airplane, and I don't even like it that much because he's only, like, 2 inches tall. I just don't feel the toys represent the aircraft all that well. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that the real airplane is just a long skinny tube, with two short, fat tubes, two straight wings, and a big H-shaped tail. You can't really get a realistic robot to unfold from that, I guess...

Which is why I understand why Universe Stormcloud can't really be an A-10, only A-10-ish. But that's cool. Call me crazy, but the deco makes this figure and I really like it when my Decepticons are purple and black. Just like all true Autobots should be some combination of red, white, and blue (take that, Hot Rod!), all Decepticons should feature this color combination (at least if they aren't dark blue because you can't leave out Soundwave.) Since Universe Stormcloud features an abundance of black with some purple, I think this figure works better than the Powerglide deco.

The toy is solid enough. It's a little top-heavy, but that's about the only problem. I even like the little "MM-89" tampograph because (I think) it references the fact that the original Stormcloud was a micromaster and came out in '89. I think the tampos on the other two Universe ultras - BOLT-25 (Silverbolt) and MONZO-whatever (Onslaught)- are just superfluous. My ONE real gripe is probably pretty stupid. See if you follow my logic here:

1) Universe Stormcloud is an A-10
2) G1 Tailwind was ALSO an A-10
3) G1 Tailwind was blue
4) The Cobra Rattler was ALSO blue (pictures coming soon!)

Theoretically, had Hasbro done this figure as an homage to G1 Tailwind, we'd have had a giant, blue, transforming Decepticon A-10. Oh, what could you do with a giant, blue, transforming Decepticon A-10? Well, some company (say Hasbro or reprolabels or something) could have come out with a set of Cobra Rattler decals designed for said giant, blue, transforming A-10, allowing you to turn it into a Transforming Cobra Rattler that was also an homage to a G1 Transformer, thereby causing quite possibly the biggest 80's-related, nostalgia-propagated toygasm in the history of mankind EVER! (I don't even think a little mini-Skeletor pilot would have been required.)

See? See how Hasbro dropped the ball by not replying to the resume' I forwarded to them with the subject "Dear Hasbro: Please consider me as a replacement for the retarded offspring of five monkeys that had butt sex with a fish-squirrel you currently employ as your toy design team."

**And by "never, EVER, not even ONCE" I mean "have done it several times."

Transformers Animated Swindle

Alright, so its been a while since I made an update. I got a bunch of crap for Christmas, and I'm going to get to that, but first here's a couple of things I got for my birthday. First up...something from my brother, Animated Swindle.

I've only got two Deluxe-sized Decepticons from Animated, Soundwave and this guy. They're both great figures, but I think I like Swindle more. His alt-mode is based on a Hummer-thingy. I guess. Doesn't matter.

If they came out with a Hummer-thingy (I guess) that came with a gigantic-ass cannon blaster launching plasma missile (according to Hasbro) as a factory option, I'd definitely take it. But that's only because I'm sick of all the buttholes that cut me off on the interstate. Although it would be cool to have a big ol' Decepticon logo on the hood, too.

Some people are complaining about the flat-headed, bit-eyed aesthetic, but I like it. It's very homage-y to Swindle's G1 self. One thing I'm really diggin' on some of the Animated figures is the way the light piping is done in the eyes. The way the eye's are constructed somehow gives the effect that there are two glowing pupils inside the eyes. It's here on Swindle, and Animated Bumblebee owners have probably noticed his eyes are the same way.

I'm also a big fan of Transformer toys that come with smirks.

Updates...

...are coming. Crazy bad updates. I think. Maybe. Hopefully!

Transformers Universe Hound

Remember 1984? Sure you do. You were 8 years old. You got one of those Autobot cars. "WOW!" you thought. "This is cool! An awesome sportscar/jeep/van!" Maybe not a van. "And it even turns into a ROBOT!" Yeah, that robot didn't look JUST like the one on the cartoon. (Well, the one on the package because you didn't get to watch the cartoon.) That robot was only able to move at the shoulders. That robot had some really funky "futuristic-for-the-80's" stickers you had to put on. That didn't matter, though, because Transformers were just about the most awesome thing ever.

Remember later, when you took that Transformer out of the attic and you realized that awesome robot that you thought was so awesomely awesome was just a fancy brick with shoulder joints? Remember when you fell to your knees and cried "WHYYYYYYYYY?" Guess what? Hasbro has steadily been answering your prayers with Classics and Universe figures. These toys are the toys you THOUGHT you were getting when you were 8 years old and retarded.

I have been saying for a while that Classics Mirage is THE BEST ® deluxe TF released in a looooooong time. Well, Hound just kicked him down a notch. BAM!

If you buy Hound and end up not liking him, you have no soul. No, really. You are literally a soulless bastard. Just look at that star on the fender, look at that missile launcher thingy. Look at that sweet 1980's helmet-head.

My only complaint is that Ravage doesn't fit in G1 Soundwave, only in the newer versions of Soundwave that fit two cassettes.

Transformers Universe Hasbro Toy Shop Exclusive Drag Strip

Not going to give a review of the Classics Mirage mold. I've already had my say on that. There are damn few Decepticons in the Classics/Universe G1 Series lines, even fewer appealing molds (I'm lookin' at you, Galvatron.)

Drag Strip is a combination of Decepticon and what I still think is the best Deluxe-size Transformer mold released in the past decade, so Drag Strip is a winner. The only problem is that it is a Hasbrotoyshop.com exclusive, and it is 16 bucks for a ten dollar figure.

If you aren't worried about paying more than you normally would for a deluxe figure, you can't miss with Drag Strip. (If you don't want to pay that much, you could always use the coupon code HOLIDAY25 and knock 25% off the price. I'm just sayin'.)

The paint job isn't as nice as I would like and you can probably see some of the yellow plastic peeking through the purple paint on the head. And when transforming him the first time, I'm almost positive I noticed some of that dreaded "tacky paint." But on the whole, I'm not disappointed with Drag Strip.

Don't really know what else to say. Again, the positives is that Drag Strip can bolster your probably anemic Decepticon ranks, and you get a great figure. The negative is pretty much the cost and possible availability issues.

Them damn Stunticons have to stick together.

GI Joe 25th Anniversary Arctic Snake Eyes and Snow Job

Thanks to Al Gore and ManBearPig we actually got some snow down here in Sportsman's Paradise so I yanked out some snow-themed Joes and took a couple of pictures. I don't really have a review or anything other than to say these two figures are pretty cool.

I would have gotten some pictures of my Snow Serpents or maybe an AT-AT and some Snowtroopers cavorting about in the snow. But, you know, it was snow so it was cold and wet so screw that.

Maschinen Krieger S.A.F.S. Mercenary Corps

Back during the internet's infancy I discovered a little thing called Maschinen Krieger ZbV 3000(Ma.K.). Ma.K. was a bit of a mystery to me (it still sort of is, I guess) because there wasn't a whole lot of information to be found except for a lot of pictures and a lot of poorly translated information. Since there was a lack of information and resources, Ma.K. held my interest mainly because of the pictures I saw.

Ma.K. began life as SF3D, the creation of artist Kow Yokoyama as a kind of photo comic (sounds familiar, no?) back in the 1980's in the pages of HobbyJAPAN. SF3D's story was set about 900 years in the future...there was a nuclear war, Earth rendered uninhabitable, humanity moves to space, Earth restores itself...pretty standard fare. The story was enhanced by pictures of kit bashes by Kow, drawing inspiration from WWI and WWII German aircraft and armor. The result was something very different from the "super robot" stuff in vogue in Japan at the time.

There were some licensed Ma.K. model kits during the story's run but there was a dispute between Kow and HobbyJAPAN in the mid-80's, and as a result HobbyJAPAN ended up dropping SF3D. The dispute wasn't resolved until the 1990's, and this is when Kow began releasing products from his story reintroduced as Maschinen Krieger ZbV 3000. Since Ma.K. was not overly popular, there have been relatively few "affordable" options for collectors, at least until recently. As a result, while I have been a fan of Ma.K. for close to 15 years, it was just a few months ago I decided to add anything Ma.K. to my collection.

There are TONS of vehicles and armor and bits of weapons to admire from Ma.K., from hovercraft, to flying machines, to space-based weaponry, but for me it is the powered armor that is the biggest draw. My two favorite books, Heinlein's Starship Trooper and Joe Haldeman's Forever War are "hard sci-fi" stories that deal with powered armor wearing soldiers, and I think that's where I get my interest in Ma.K.'s Super Armored Fighting Suits. This is S.A.F.S set is a 1/35 scale set from Yellow Submarine.

Review Updates. Now with Pictures!

So, can you believe, when I first started this thing I posted reviews of toys and yet, didn't post pictures. Retarded, no?

Well, I'm going back and addressing some of these errors. First up, my review of Transformers Classics Optimus Prime.

UPDATE: added pictures to Classics Starscream

UPDATE 2: pictures for Transf Formers Classics: Battle for Autobot City added. Mmmmmm, Ultra Magnus-y and Skywarp-y goodness.

UPDATE 3: added pics for Classics Ramjet

THE UPDATES KEEP A-COMIN' or UPDATE 4: Added pictures to my Star Wars Transformers Crossover Millennium Falcon

Transformers Animated Jazz

Jazz is really snazzy. I think he's the most GEEWUN of the Animated figures, and that's just all right with me.

What can I say? This is a great figure. Probably my favorite Animated deluxe.

ENTER THE DRAGON!!!

"Vintage" Star Wars Figures

Star Wars toys represent a toy zenith of sorts from my childhood. Sure, I had other toys from my childhood that maybe got more play, and if you ask me "what is the best toy you ever had?" I might not pick a Star Wars toy at first (Cobra Rattler, in case you're wondering.) However, when I look back at all the toys I had when I was little, I get quite a bit nostalgic and maybe even a little euphoric when I think about Star Wars toys.

I didn't really have very many of the larger vehicles. No A-Wings, B-Wings, X- or Y-Wings. No Millennium Falcon, no Imperial Shuttle. I had Darth Vader's TIE Fighter and one Christmas I got my prized AT-AT and an AT-ST. But that was it as far as the more popular vehicles went. I also had a Bespin Cloud Car, but since it didn't really do much in the films I never really used it for much except maybe Princess Leia's personal ship (she let C-3PO ride shotgun.) I DID have quite a few of the Mini-Rig figures, like the CAP-2, MLC-3, INT-4 (which was my personal favorite because it looked like a flying AT-ST cockpit), MVT-7, and PDT-8, but they really gave off more of a Ralph McQuarrie vibe than a Star Wars vibe.

No, the figures where were it was at for me. I loved them. There was a period there for a year or so where I got a new figure every Friday from my dad. Sadly, most of my Star Wars toys (as well as most of my other stuff) didn't survive what I like to call "The Great Garage Sales Purges." But a few did make it, the examples pictured here.

I'm aware that there are endless possibilities for acquiring figures in better condition, replacement weapons and accessories, etc. but for some reason the idea never really appealed to me. I guess part of it is the fact that I can probably buy a better figure (one with elbows and knees and even ankles sometimes) for a cheaper price at retail, and part of it is that I'm not the same seven year old little boy that gleefully ripped open a Biker Scout in 1983 and felt like he'd just been given a million dollars. Yeah, maybe it would be nice to get some newer, cleaner figures that look like I just got them yesterday, but they wouldn't be MINE. They'd be some other kid's. Some jerkwad that kept all his toys in the package and wouldn't let his friends play with them when they came over. Oh, I've bought a couple more AT-AT Drivers to fill out my AT-AT's crew, but they're outranked by the one I got back in '81.

So, here are the last vestiges of my "vintage" Star Wars action figure collection. They live in a zip-loc bag in the cargo hold of my POTF2 Millennium Falcon when I'm not trying to get them to stand up for a picture.

Transformers Universe - Acid Storm, Galvatron

I've been sitting on these for a while. I love the Classics Seekers mold. I'm a big Starscream fan, but not so much the rest of the so-called "Seekers." I think its really funny that there is much rending of garments and gnashing of teeth amongst the fandom because the only way you can complete the original seekers by buying really ultra-expensive Botcon Exclusives or really ultra-expensive Japanese something-or-others. Me, I'd prefer Hasbro release these homages to bots that only appeared in a single frame in the original cartoon, if just to piss off the whiners.

But for those of you that just insist on whining, consider Acid Storm to be REALLY just an homage to Machine Wars Thundercracker. There ya go, camper, feel better?

You'll notice I haven't said anything about Galvatron. That's because I just don't care one way or the other for him. I bought it for two reasons. One, it was on sale for $7.77 at Wal-Mart and I'm a sucker for a good deal. Two, I wanted him to go with the Universe Cyclonus coming out. But now that pictures of the final product have been shown, I'm kind of disappointed in it, too. So, yeah. Galvatron. He was pretty cool in the movie, I guess.

Transformers Universe Ironhide, Sideswipe, and Silverstreak

We'll just get this out of the way. Universe Ironhide's vehicle mode is a great big steaming pile of fail. I hate it. The only reason why I'm keeping this figure in my collection is because it is the only G1 incarnation of Ironhide I have and it doesn't feel like my Classics Autobots would be complete without him.

On the complete opposite side of the spectrum are Sideswipe and Silverstreak. The Sideswipe/Sunstreaker mold's alt-mode is arguably the best in the Classics/Classics 2.0/Classiverse line. At least of the deluxes. While I really do like Prowl and on paper his alt-mode might sound more exciting, Silverstreak "pops" just a bit more when I compare them together. You can't go wrong with either, though. (But I am considering getting a set Reprolabels stickers for Prowl to up his curb appeal.) Sideswipe is perfect in every way.

Going to robot mode, Ironhide moves from a GBSPOF to just a disappointment. The head's range of motion is limited to side-to-side and because of the toy's design, will always be looking down. As in "at his belly-button." His face was also painted the same light blue color as the windows. (I fixed this with some Testor's aluminum paint.) His transformation is much more akin to the movie toy designs than other Universe figures. I appreciate the effort, but the execution is just lacking. The only complaint I have about Silverstreak is that his face was painted white, but that didn't bother me enough to fix it (yet.) Sideswipe, again, is perfect.

I've got all the Universe "Classics Series" deluxes except Tankor, and Sideswipe is far and away the best. You can't miss with Prowl, either. If you're a complete G1 phagg like me you'll want to pick up Ironhide, but if you're on the fence I don't mind telling you that you'll be okay skipping him.

P.S. Ironhide DOES have one neat little feature. His rear window actually becomes his chest. During transformation, you fold his rear bumper up and doing this slides a panel in to place behind the rear window. This is the little silver piece with his faction symbol you can see in the picture. That is a nice touch.

Transformers Animated Grimlock, Snarl, Swoop

I never got the Dinobot thing when I was a kid. I liked them okay, I guess, but I didn't have the G1 toys and they weren't really something I ever thought about pestering my parents to get. All the other kids thought that they were just the greatest things ever. There was even a club of Transformers fans in my 4th grade class that assigned everyone Transformers names. The coolest five kids got the names of the Dinobots.

I got to be Thrust.

I never really understood this phenomenon until recently. Why didn't I freak out over the Dinobots like all the other kids? Why didn't I think Grimlock was the greatest Autobot ever created? Next to Optimus Prime, of course. Well, as it turns out, the internet is good for a lot more than just Youtube and porn. There are also legions of disaffected fans everywhere that gather around and complain about little plastic robots, and the various retard-osities of their associated media. These places are otherwise known as message boards.

It was here I finally learned the reason for my apathy of the Dinobots. They are idiots. Retards. Comics and back stories be damned, the Grimlock I saw in the G1 cartoon and in the movie was a moron. This is also the reason the Dinobots appealed to 9 year old boys. Most of them were morons, too.

That said, I actually did have a Dinobot I liked better than all the others. Slag. I always liked Triceratops, and I guess since Slag was one, I liked him, too. So in my house Animated Snarl's real name is Slag.

Transformers Animated Soundwave

There's a lot of bitching and complaining that Soundwave isn't big enough. I think he's fine.

I didn't get a good picture of Laserbeak's robot mode. But he's got a Dimebag Darrell-ish alt-mode, which is cool.

I like his bot-mode and I think his Animated "stylized" design translates well to plastic form. I really like the G1 homage this figure is packed with. Like the "tape player buttons" on the vehicle's grill, and the G1-inspired chest.

I'm halfway to starting my new Transformers band. Just need a drummer and a bass player.

Revoltech Regult

I don't have anything to say about this figure other than I really like it.

It does suffer from the same thing all Revoltechs suffer from...a little thing I like to call Hard as Hell to Pose-itis.

A shot with my Revoltech VF-1S as a size reference.

Transformers Universe Silverbolt

A lot of people are complaining that Silverbolt isn't worth the $24.99 you pay for him. "That's too much to pay for a Voyager-sized Transformer with electronics." Well, I got him for $19.99, so my opinion may be a little skewed, but I think he's totally worth it.

He's got a very G1-vibe to him; in alt-mode he's an airplane with a folded up robot hanging on the bottom and in bot-mode he's a robot with a folded airplane hanging its the back. Not terribly creative or as "exciting" or Transformically complex as some of the more modern Transformers...

...but therein lies the figure's charm, I think. The beauty of the Classics line (and the "Classiverse" figures) is that they're all Gee Wun-ish and everything, but they aren't vehicles that unfold in to robot shaped bricks. Or as some people like to say, these figures actually are what we THOUGHT G1 figures were like 25 years ago.

Galaxy Defenders Variable Cyberbot - (Bandai Valkyrie knockoff)

I didn't have cable television when I was a kid. I grew up way the hell out in the country so we were basically limited to three over the air channels, NBC, PBS and, when the weather was good, CBS. For this reason I was not able to come home from school and park my lazy ass in front of the television to have my brain wiped daily by 30 minute animated toy commercials like all the other lucky kids. Every now and then I got to go home with a friend (who had cable) and could catch Transformers or GI Joe or MASK, but more often than not when most boys my age were watching the adventures of Robot Jesus and his transforming friends, I was watching the adventures of The Electric Company and 3-2-1 Contact.

This led to an awkward social life for me. Other kids would be saying things like "Wow! Did you see Megatron and Optimus Prime get in that fight?" or "Did you see Duke sneak in to that Cobra base?" and I would say things like "Did you see the Bloodhound Gang use their knowledge of science solve that mystery?" I got picked last for 4-square a lot.

How this impacted me in the world of Transformers was that I wasn't pestering my parents every day for this Autobot and that Decepticon. I saw them on the shelves, I thought they were neat, but I was way more interested in Star Wars and GI Joe figures than in transforming robots. I can count the number of Transformers I had as a kid on one hand, even if I was just a four fingered mutant (Perceptor, Bonecrusher, Seaspray, Blitzwing).

So I missed out on what is possibly the coolest and most sought after G1 Transformer of all time...Jetfire. I never saw a Jetfire in the store. The closest I have ever come to seeing a G1 Jetfire in person was in a store owned by a friend of my brother's a few years ago. It was sitting on the top of a shelf, complete, in the box, with a sticker price of $499. Unfortunately, the douche wouldn't take it down for me to look at it. "I only take it down for people to look at if they're serious about buying it." So I craned my neck for a few minutes trying to get a glimpse of that beautiful red and white plastic through the box window, and went on my way.

For me G1 Jetfire and the Bandai Valkyrie represent the Holy Grail of toydom. Mainly because it is something I can only dream of owning, and I don't have the time, inclination, money or even a cool bullwhip and leather jacket to go looking for one. I'm pretty sure my dad didn't spend half his life compiling a diary of research to locate one, either.

Anyway, when I found this thing on the intarwebs and verified that it was 1) a certified, bona fide, Bandai Valkyrie knock-off and 2) less than $100 (MUCH less), I jumped on it. "Knock-off or not, this is worth a shot" I told myself. I was pleasantly surprised.

The plastic is surprisingly sturdy, it doesn't feel like the cheap plastic you get with usual KOs. There's even die-cast metal on it, if that's your sort of thing. Even the landing gear spring out (and bruise your fingers). If you come across one of these, I'd say its worth picking up.

No, it's not red and white, and it's not Jetfire, but I actually like the way the toy looks. It even comes with a sticker sheet for you to dress him out in custom markings.